20 Songs About Being the Second Choice

Being the second choice is a feeling that many of us know all too well. It’s that lingering sense of being overlooked, of standing in the shadows while someone else takes center stage. 

As someone who has experienced the sting of not being the first pick, I find solace in music that captures this complex emotion. Songs about being the second choice resonate deeply, offering both comfort and a sense of solidarity. They remind us that we are not alone in our experiences and that others have walked this path before us. 

In this playlist, I’ve compiled a list of 20 songs that beautifully encapsulate the heartache, resilience, and sometimes even empowerment that comes with being the second choice.

1. “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift

Released in 2008 as part of her album Fearless, “You Belong With Me” is a quintessential anthem of unrequited love and longing. The song narrates the story of a girl who harbors feelings for her male best friend, who is currently in a relationship with someone else. Swift’s lyrics vividly portray the contrast between herself, the relatable “girl next door,” and the popular cheerleader girlfriend. The emotional core of the song revolves around the protagonist’s hope that her friend will realize she is the better match for him. This narrative not only highlights the pain of being overlooked but also the yearning for recognition and love from someone who seems to be oblivious to her feelings. The song’s catchy melody and relatable lyrics have made it one of Swift’s signature pieces, resonating with many who have experienced similar feelings of being the second choice in love.

2. “Bring Me Some Water” by Melissa Etheridge

Melissa Etheridge’s debut single, “Bring Me Some Water,” released in 1988, captures the intense emotions of jealousy and longing that arise from an open relationship. The song’s protagonist expresses her anguish over her partner’s infidelity, feeling the heat of emotional turmoil as she grapples with the reality of her lover being with someone else. The metaphor of needing water to quench her burning feelings symbolizes the desperation and pain she feels. Etheridge’s powerful rock sound, combined with her heartfelt lyrics, conveys the struggles of being in a non-monogamous relationship where one feels like a second choice. The song’s raw emotion and bluesy undertones have made it a memorable anthem for those experiencing similar heartaches.

3. “I’m Through (Trying to Prove My Love to You)” by Bobby Womack

Bobby Womack’s “I’m Through (Trying to Prove My Love to You)” is a poignant soul ballad that speaks to the exhaustion and heartbreak of unreciprocated love. Released in 1972, the song reflects a narrative where the protagonist realizes that his efforts to win over a partner who is clearly not invested are futile. The lyrics convey a sense of resignation and empowerment as he declares he is done trying to prove his worth to someone who does not appreciate him. This song resonates with anyone who has felt sidelined or undervalued in a relationship, capturing the moment of self-affirmation when one decides to move on from being the second choice.

4. “My Other Woman” by Huey Lewis & The News

“My Other Woman,” released in 1988, explores the theme of infidelity from the perspective of a man who is aware of being the second choice. The song’s narrator grapples with the emotional complexities of loving someone who is involved with another person. The lyrics reflect a mix of acceptance and heartache, as he acknowledges his role in a love triangle. The upbeat rock sound contrasts with the serious subject matter, creating a dynamic that highlights the often painful reality of being in a relationship where one is not the primary choice. This song captures the bittersweet nature of love and desire, making it relatable for those who have found themselves in similar situations.

5. “Other Woman” by Ferlin Husky

Released in 1964, “Other Woman” by Ferlin Husky is a poignant country song that delves into the emotional turmoil of being the second choice in a romantic relationship. The lyrics express the pain and frustration of loving someone who is involved with another person. Husky’s narrator confronts the feelings of betrayal and heartache, acknowledging that while he has feelings for the woman, she has chosen someone else. The song’s narrative is marked by a sense of resignation, as the protagonist reflects on his situation and the emotional scars left by unreciprocated love. The heartfelt delivery and traditional country instrumentation enhance the song’s emotional depth, making it a classic representation of the struggles faced by those who find themselves as the “other” in a love triangle.

6. “Tears Dry On Their Own” by Amy Winehouse

From her critically acclaimed album Back to Black, Amy Winehouse’s “Tears Dry On Their Own” is a powerful reflection on heartbreak and self-empowerment. The song captures the essence of being the second choice through its exploration of a tumultuous relationship. Winehouse’s lyrics reveal her struggle with attachment and the realization that her partner is not fully committed. The chorus, “He walks away, the sun goes down,” symbolizes the end of the relationship and her journey toward independence. Despite the pain, the song emphasizes personal growth and resilience, as Winehouse acknowledges her own role in the relationship’s demise and resolves to move forward. The blend of soulful melodies and poignant lyrics makes this song a compelling anthem for anyone who has felt sidelined in love.

7. “Triple 7” by Japanese Breakfast

In “Triple 7,” from the album Psychopomp, Japanese Breakfast explores the complexities of love and longing, particularly from the perspective of being the second choice. The song’s narrator grapples with feelings of inadequacy and the desire for a deeper connection with someone who may not fully reciprocate those feelings. The lyrics convey a sense of yearning and vulnerability, as the protagonist reflects on their role as the “other woman.” Phrases like “I know the role I’m meant to play” highlight the acceptance of being in a secondary position in a relationship. The dreamy instrumentation and introspective lyrics create a haunting atmosphere that resonates with listeners who have experienced similar feelings of longing and emotional conflict.

8. “Second Best” by Barenaked Ladies

Barenaked Ladies’ “Second Best,” from their album Everything to Everyone, is a candid exploration of feelings associated with being the second choice. The song’s narrator expresses a sense of resignation and self-awareness regarding their position in a romantic relationship. The lyrics convey a mix of humor and melancholy, as the protagonist reflects on the reality of being in a relationship where they are not the primary choice. The catchy melody contrasts with the deeper themes of unrequited love and the realization that sometimes, one must accept their role in the dynamics of love. The song’s lighthearted yet poignant approach makes it relatable for anyone who has felt overlooked or undervalued in their romantic pursuits.

9. “In the Morning” by Aretha Franklin

Aretha Franklin’s “In the Morning,” featured on her 1972 album Young, Gifted and Black, is a soulful ballad that captures the complexities of love and longing. The song’s narrator expresses a deep yearning for a partner who may not fully reciprocate her feelings. With its poignant lyrics, Franklin conveys the pain of feeling overlooked and unappreciated, as she implores her lover to recognize her worth. The repeated pleas for attention reflect the emotional turmoil of being in a relationship where one feels like a second choice. Franklin’s powerful vocals, combined with the song’s rich instrumentation, evoke a sense of vulnerability and desperation, making it a resonant anthem for anyone who has felt sidelined in love.

10. “The Other Woman” by Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey’s “The Other Woman” is a haunting cover of the classic originally performed by Nina Simone. This rendition explores the sorrow and isolation experienced by a mistress who is aware of her secondary status in a relationship. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a woman who maintains a glamorous facade—complete with manicured nails and fresh flowers—while grappling with the reality of her unfulfilled desires and emotional void. Del Rey’s ethereal voice and cinematic style enhance the melancholic atmosphere of the song, emphasizing the loneliness that accompanies being the “other woman.” The poignant conclusion, which reflects on the inevitability of her solitude, resonates deeply with listeners who understand the heartache of unreciprocated love and the complexities of infidelity.

11. “Picking Up the Pieces” by Paloma Faith

From her 2012 album Fall to Grace, Paloma Faith’s “Picking Up the Pieces” delves into the emotional struggles of being in a relationship with someone who is still healing from a past romance. The song articulates feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as the narrator navigates the challenges of competing with an ex-partner for her lover’s affection. Faith’s powerful vocals convey a mix of vulnerability and strength, capturing the essence of feeling like a second choice. The lyrics reflect the protagonist’s desire for love and validation while dealing with the emotional fallout of her partner’s previous relationship. The song’s upbeat tempo contrasts with its deeper themes, making it a compelling anthem for those who have faced similar challenges in love.

12. “Can’t Stay Away From You” by Gloria Estefan

Gloria Estefan’s “Can’t Stay Away From You,” released in 1987, is a heartfelt ballad that encapsulates the pain of unrequited love. The song is sung from the perspective of a woman who is deeply in love with someone who may not feel the same way, yet she finds herself unable to walk away. The lyrics express a sense of longing and devotion, highlighting the emotional turmoil of being in a one-sided relationship. Estefan’s soulful delivery and the song’s melodic structure evoke a sense of yearning, making it relatable for anyone who has experienced the heartache of feeling like a second choice. The theme of emotional attachment despite the lack of reciprocation resonates throughout the song, capturing the complexities of love and desire.

13. “Teardrops on My Guitar” by Taylor Swift

“Teardrops on My Guitar,” released in 2006 as part of Taylor Swift’s self-titled debut album, is a poignant reflection on unrequited love. The song tells the story of a girl who harbors deep feelings for her close friend, Drew, who is oblivious to her affections and is instead dating someone else. The lyrics convey a sense of longing and heartache, as the protagonist grapples with the pain of loving someone who does not see her as more than a friend. The imagery of “teardrops” symbolizes her sorrow and the emotional weight of her unexpressed feelings. Swift’s ability to articulate the complexities of teenage emotions resonates with many listeners, making this song an anthem for those who have experienced the heartache of being the second choice in love.

14. “The Uninvited Guest” by Carpenters

“The Uninvited Guest,” a track from the Carpenters’ 1989 album Lovelines, explores themes of longing and emotional presence in the context of a past relationship. The song’s narrator reflects on the lingering feelings for someone who is no longer part of their life, evoking a sense of nostalgia and heartache. The “uninvited guest” symbolizes the memories and emotions that resurface unexpectedly, reminding the narrator of their former love. This hauntingly beautiful ballad captures the essence of being left behind and the struggle to move on, portraying the bittersweet nature of love that remains despite the absence of the other person. The Carpenters’ signature harmonies and Richard Carpenter’s lush arrangements enhance the emotional depth of the song, making it a poignant addition to the theme of being the second choice.

15. “Other Woman” by Julia Fordham

Julia Fordham’s “Other Woman,” from her 1990 self-titled debut album, delves into the emotional complexities of being in a relationship with someone who is involved with another person. The song’s narrator reflects on her feelings of inadequacy and jealousy as she grapples with her role as the “other woman.” Fordham’s soulful voice conveys a deep sense of vulnerability and longing, as she expresses the heartache of loving someone who is committed to someone else. The lyrics poignantly capture the internal conflict of wanting to be with someone while knowing they are emotionally tied to another. This song resonates with anyone who has experienced the pain of feeling like a second choice, highlighting the emotional turmoil that accompanies such relationships.

16. “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge

“I’m the Only One,” released in 1993, is a powerful ballad by Melissa Etheridge that confronts the complexities of infidelity and emotional betrayal. In this song, the narrator addresses a lover who is tempted by another person, expressing a mix of desperation and defiance. Etheridge’s raw and passionate delivery underscores the pain of feeling unworthy and the struggle to maintain a relationship when one feels like a second choice. The lyrics reflect a sense of empowerment as the narrator asserts her feelings, challenging her lover to recognize the depth of her commitment. The song captures the emotional conflict of loving someone who is torn between two partners, making it a relatable anthem for those navigating the complexities of love and infidelity.

17. “You Belong to Me” by Carly Simon

Released in 1978 as part of her album Boys in the Trees, “You Belong to Me” is one of Carly Simon’s most iconic songs. The narrative centers around a woman who observes her love interest in a relationship with someone else, expressing her belief that she is the better match for him. The lyrics convey a deep sense of longing and unrequited love, as the protagonist reflects on the emotional distance between them. Simon’s smooth vocals, combined with the song’s catchy melody and heartfelt saxophone solo, create a poignant atmosphere that resonates with anyone who has felt like they were not the primary choice in a relationship. The song’s themes of jealousy and yearning make it a classic anthem for those navigating the complexities of love and desire.

18. “Like You” by Alessia Cara

Alessia Cara’s “Like You,” from her 2019 EP This Summer, explores the feelings of inadequacy and longing that come with being the second choice in a romantic context. The song’s narrator expresses a desire for a deeper connection with someone who seems to be emotionally unavailable or distracted by another person. The lyrics reflect a mix of vulnerability and resilience, as she grapples with the realization that her feelings may not be fully reciprocated. Cara’s soulful delivery and relatable storytelling capture the essence of feeling overlooked in love, making this song a resonant addition to the theme of being the second choice. The upbeat production contrasts with the emotional weight of the lyrics, creating a compelling dynamic that speaks to the complexities of modern relationships.

19. “The Other Woman” by Loretta Lynn

Loretta Lynn’s “The Other Woman,” released in 1971, is a heartfelt country ballad that delves into the emotional struggles of being involved with someone who is committed to another. The song’s narrator reflects on her position as the “other woman,” expressing feelings of sadness and resignation as she navigates the complexities of love and infidelity. Lynn’s powerful vocals convey a sense of vulnerability and strength, highlighting the internal conflict of wanting to be with someone who is not fully hers. The lyrics poignantly capture the heartache and loneliness that accompany such relationships, making it a timeless anthem for anyone who has experienced the pain of being the second choice in love.

20. “I Can’t Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt

Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” released in 1991, is a haunting ballad that encapsulates the emotional turmoil of unrequited love. The song’s narrator confronts the painful reality that her partner cannot reciprocate her feelings, despite her deep affection for him. The lyrics express a profound sense of resignation and heartbreak, as she acknowledges that no amount of love or effort can change the other person’s feelings. Raitt’s soulful voice, combined with the stripped-down piano arrangement, creates an intimate atmosphere that resonates with listeners who have faced similar heartaches. The song’s raw emotion and vulnerability make it a powerful anthem for those grappling with the pain of being the second choice, emphasizing the complexities of love and acceptance in relationships.

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Serena Whitfield

Serena Whitfield is the founder of PlaylistCurator.org. She’s a musician who writes songs for bands. She studied music at the University of Oxford and graduated with distinction. With her expertise, she knows how to review songs and understand what makes good and bad music. Every playlist on our platform is approved by her before publishing to maintain top-notch quality. If you want her to check out your song and maybe get featured on our playlist, submit your song for Serena to evaluate.